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 Wishes - Opinions Needed!

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Tuli
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Posts : 450
Join date : 2013-03-02
Age : 15
Location : Scootaloo's house.

PostSubject: Wishes - Opinions Needed!   Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:14 pm

Okay, so I had decided to make a song for Ariadne. I'm doing it to the tune of the song "Home" by Jeff Burgess, and I'm calling it "Wishes."
I need your guys' opinion on the lyrics! If you have any suggestions for something that may fit better, please tell me it!

Home lyrics - Wishes lyrics

It's so lonely on the moon - I hope my cutie mark comes soon
I hope that I can come home soon - Once it’s here I’ll start anew
Will it be the same when I return? - What will my fate be in this world?
I know there's a lesson I have learned - Through many taunts I have been hurled

Why does the night no more inspire? - It seems that I am not inspired
As I raise the sun, I start to tire - To try and find my heart’s desire
I long for you to be with me - I long to fit in like the rest
But there are things that cannot be - But now I have to try my best
And it takes some time away to see - To try and end this major quest

And I've spent half my life waiting for your call - And I’ve spent my whole life fleeing from my friend
Why do I feel I don't belong anywhere at all? - Why do I feel I belong alone, that this will never end?

When I come home and see you again - When I go home and see my family again
I'm gonna bring the night as my oldest friend - I’m gonna come in with the biggest grin
I'm gonna stay with you, and won't repeat mistakes - My cutie mark will be there, and my journey complete
I no longer want to roam I'll do whatever it takes - I’ll no longer want to hide, I’ll be ready to see
To come home - The world before me

There once lived in me a great fire - There now burns within me a small fire
But it's been cooled by overwhelmed desire - My cutie mark is now my top desire
There's a crater but it's just bone deep - But the journey, it’s still very steep
And it deepens every time I sleep - And every step I’m closer to what I’ll keep

I've spent a thousand years wishing on a star - My wishes have always been for my cutie mark
I feel so close but I've never been so far - All that’s now left to do is find that spark

Why can't I tell you you were right all along? - Why must I wait for that day to finally come?
Why must I forge a tragic plight with my song? - Why is it I just now even begun?
Why can't we meet between the moon and the sun? - Is it that I’m just not even meant for one?
Why must the sun shine when the night is done? - Why must I go on with my task undone?

When you come home and see me again - When I go home and see my family again
I'm gonna welcome you as my oldest friend - I’m gonna come in with the biggest grin
I'm gonna stay with you, and won't repeat mistakes - My cutie mark will be there, and my journey complete
I don't wanna be alone, I'll do whatever it takes - I’ll no longer want to hide, I’ll be ready to see
To bring you home - The world before me

It's so lonely on the moon - I hope my cutie mark comes soon
I hope that I can come home soon - Once it’s here I’ll start anew
For a coming sunset I will yearn - For that special day I will yearn
The longest day will end and I will return - And that’s when my life will turn

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T U L I  L I T H

U N I C O R N ~ BAT PONY
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